Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
