what day is it and did you see me today?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm at about main and main street
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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