Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize