dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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