don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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