...so i touched it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.