Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.