We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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