So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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