If that was your dad, he is hot
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
