At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
