i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize