You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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