She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
