she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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