I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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