We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
