Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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