What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
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i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
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I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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