There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
