I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize