End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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