Duck Duck Cougar?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
