Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
