and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize