we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
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Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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