What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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