go do what you do best...puke behind churches
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
