i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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