If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize