My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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