Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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