uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
