Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
