how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I need water and some morals
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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