it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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