so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
