If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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