Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh god it's open bar.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
