Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?

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(503): I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number? http://tfl.nu/ltxf

Replies (55) Good night (3337) Bad night (1081)
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(818): View more from California

I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.

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(818): I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch. http://tfl.nu/o7me

Replies (19) Good night (6947) Bad night (811)
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(989): View more from Michigan

i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.

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(989): i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole. http://tfl.nu/0fwa

Replies (35) Good night (1752) Bad night (7136)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.

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(717): Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something. http://tfl.nu/o9mn

Replies (11) Good night (3643) Bad night (922)
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(561): View more from Florida

Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...

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(561): Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend... http://tfl.nu/snfb

Replies (23) Good night (1293) Bad night (4524)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,

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(412): Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage, http://tfl.nu/ten2

Replies (15) Good night (4593) Bad night (907)
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(775): View more from Nevada

At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.

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(775): At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later. http://tfl.nu/5mcf

Replies (4) Good night (841) Bad night (2244)
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(206): View more from Washington

before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch

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(206): before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch http://tfl.nu/cp10

Replies (14) Good night (2074) Bad night (730)
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(719): View more from Colorado

New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.

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(719): New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget. http://tfl.nu/qqak

Replies (9) Good night (469) Bad night (1577)
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(916): View more from California

the gays at disneyland are vicious

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(916): the gays at disneyland are vicious http://tfl.nu/i9ir

Replies (13) Good night (1800) Bad night (649)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly

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(773): Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly http://tfl.nu/8cgf

Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (896)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio

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(302): Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio http://tfl.nu/5lxt

Replies (9) Good night (2028) Bad night (553)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?

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(770): Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right? http://tfl.nu/rafd

Replies (3) Good night (571) Bad night (288)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.

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(902): I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability. http://tfl.nu/xk8u

Replies (3) Good night (551) Bad night (314)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.

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(570): 2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card. http://tfl.nu/36zr

Replies (8) Good night (436) Bad night (1197)

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