It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
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He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
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Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital