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i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything