Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  Do you need to be saved?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  No I think I'm God

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  (760): Do you need to be saved? (847): No I think I'm God http://tfl.nu/obwr
  Replies (11) Good night (1784) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.

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  (740): worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try. http://tfl.nu/d3im
  Replies (38) Good night (654) Bad night (4367)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..

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  (734): you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy.. http://tfl.nu/5gkh
  Replies (49) Good night (761) Bad night (5780)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.

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  (775): I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question. http://tfl.nu/abym
  Replies (7) Good night (2913) Bad night (1118)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.

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  (318): I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people. http://tfl.nu/5dbr
  Replies (6) Good night (2749) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.

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  (314): I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though. http://tfl.nu/qm3u
  Replies (18) Good night (5952) Bad night (1974)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.

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  (813): Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b. http://tfl.nu/ahce
  Replies (17) Good night (4263) Bad night (1906)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.

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  (773): I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming. http://tfl.nu/u6dn
  Replies (7) Good night (4283) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.

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  (818): I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha. http://tfl.nu/8wtq
  Replies (13) Good night (3543) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.

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  (216): Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it. http://tfl.nu/vbdo
  Replies (3) Good night (1133) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious

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  (914): Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious http://tfl.nu/b9mo
  Replies (5) Good night (836) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?

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  (541): How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight? http://tfl.nu/vr15
  Replies (10) Good night (950) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie

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  (717): Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie http://tfl.nu/cc1l
  Replies (5) Good night (1464) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.

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  (719): Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless. http://tfl.nu/h5no
  Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.

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  (215): i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass. http://tfl.nu/9tw7
  Replies (7) Good night (732) Bad night (352)

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