And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
