Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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