it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Even my vagina gasped.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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