I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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