I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize