guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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