grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
