WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
