Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
