Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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