Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
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he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
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the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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