He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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