LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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