Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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