We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
