I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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