Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
