I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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