Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
