so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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