im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
