I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
