Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You need Xanax blowdarts
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
