he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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